You may have really liked or appreciated your partner’s nagging during the initial stages of your relationship.
In fact, the ways these nagging were conveyed might have made you fall in love with your partner. But this was what happened in the past; at a point when you had nothing much to do than to go for dates!
Now that you are in a steady relationship and are experiencing an engagement in the true sense with all its duties, responsibilities, quarrels and frictions! And this is the time during which your partner’s nagging may seem to be boring or intolerable for you!
You may adopt two approaches — either you may show a ‘damn care’ attitude or you may try to show your criticism. But you need to look within yourself and find out if something wrong is happening from your side. Here is how you can deal with your nagging spouse.
Understand the nags
If your spouse has been nagging for the same thing over and over again, it’s time you try to understand your partner’s point.
If the complaints are valid, you would know it from within! Overcome it by acknowledging the complaints and working towards them. Looking within yourself is very important before you make any opinion about your spouse’s nagging behaviour.
Take appropriate steps towards avoidance
If you foresee the nagging coming because you have done something to provoke your partner, like messing up the place or not having done something that you promised him/her, it’s better to either get up on your feet and clean the place up as this five-minute job will save your some trouble or try to reason your partner for why you were not able to do the work before you are being questioned about the same!
Stay calm and respectful
Please note, this isn’t equivalent to ‘keeping your partner quiet totally’. Personally, I do not like being kept quiet in a situation where there’s a misunderstanding and we’re trying to talk about it. That’s an absolute NO NO…
Lay out the benefits of changing
If you toss a one liner like “You need to change ASAP” at your partner, they’re just going to think you’re nagging. Instead, emphasize the benefits of their efforts to change so they can see how much better things can be. If they see how much a simple tweak can make you happy and strengthen your bond, it’d be crazy for them not to put forth the effort.
Simply say sorry
Now here’s the deal, you’d be better off saying nothing than giving an apology you don’t mean. That’s just unfair and would only fuel the fire. Say sorry, promise to be better and mean it.
Nagging can sometimes feel unbearable. If your wife simply will not stop being negative towards you, you should feel free to walk away. No one has the right to try to make you feel bad about yourself.
- Make it clear that you are finished with this interaction. You can say, “I am going to take a walk to calm down. Your words are hurtful.”