No relationship is perfect and problem-free all the time. Marriage takes work, commitment, and reevaluating the way you communicate, your expectations, and what you both need to work on. It doesn’t have to be hard and really it kind of shouldn’t be, but there are some issues in a marriage that seem to be more common than others.
Here are some problems which newlyweds are likely to face:
Desire ebbs and flows, and couples are not always in sync. Are you comfortable talking about what you need? How is sex different for you than affection? Which is more important at any given time? It may seem lacking in spontaneity, but setting time aside for sex may be essential, especially once there are children in the picture.
The stress of fighting over money constitutes one of the most oft-cited marriage problems that couples face. Generally speaking, when couples engage in conflicts about money, their dispute is really symbolic of something different—power struggles, different values, and needs, or other issues that surround money. However, in tough economic times, financial stress can actually cause more general stress, more conflict over things unrelated to money, and well as money-centered arguments as well. (For example, when one partner is extremely stressed about money, they may be less patient and more stressed in general; they may then pick fights with the other partner about unrelated things without even realizing it!)
Lack of “Me Time”
“My husband is not just my husband, he is also my best friend.” Sound familiar?. It makes for a great sentiment during a speech, but make sure that you keep your close friends. Although you have entered a new and wonderful period of your lives, you are still who you were prior to the marriage in many respects — and will really benefit by maintaining those friendships that supported you and gave you enjoyment prior to your nuptials.
Ideally, you’ll have a loving and supportive relationship with your new family. Yet even the best of these comes with new territory to navigate. How much access will they have into your lives? How much time will you spend with them? What will feel fair to your own family? The way in which you fit into each other’s family, what new expectations arise, and even something as simple as what you’ll call your mother-in-law, will be a test of your ability to compromise. Try not to make it a question of loyalty.
Dealing with spousal criticism
Research is pretty consistent that how you start off your marriage will have great influence on the quality of your relationship long term. One particularly worrisome situation is when your partner perceives that you’re criticizing him — even if you don’t think you are. You may intend no offense and be acting in ways that you cannot believe would be taken as criticism by your spouse, but that can still be damaging to your marriage. If you sense that your spouse is feeling criticized by you, work hard to reflect on what you may be doing to make him or her feel this way — and try and communicate in a more empathic style